Six years ago

It's hard to believe but six years ago, I woke up on this day and had no idea that life was about to change dramatically.  It felt a lot like today does.  Still feeling the post-birthday glow (my birthday is five days before Christmas) and eagerly anticipating all that Christmas brings from food to presents to family.  Work has died down and it's safe to check out for a while.

Six years ago, I departed my family's house early to head to meet a dear family friend for breakfast. My dad was sleeping peacefully.  All was quiet.

And then an hour or so later, my cell phone rang and my world as I knew it crumbled. It's all a blur from that moment but I remember racing to the hospital, arriving where the ambulance had rushed my dad  and never imagining I was going to be told he had passed away.  I remember thinking on the drive to the hospital that maybe we would be spending Christmas in the hospital where he recovered from whatever this was, likely complications from his battle with cancer.  Not the Christmas we had expected but at least in that scenario, my dad was with us and we would make the best of it.

But that wasn't to be. And just like that, my dad was gone.

I sat with my family in a stupor in the grieving room with family and friends trying to digest what had just happened.  But it's not really something that one is able to digest when a loved one is taken away so swiftly.

It's hard for me to think back on that day.  For a long time, I didn't allow myself to replay those quiet moments we had with him after he had passed away and we had one last chance to see him and say our quiet goodbyes in a tiny room in the hospital.

To kiss his cheek one last time.  To hold his hand one last time.  To remove his wedding ring and tuck it in one of our purses in a safe place.  To walk out of the room and not have him follow us out the door.

It felt so final.  And the feeling of emptiness that filled my heart was overwhelming and I wondered if it would ever go away.

It's taken a while to rebuild all that crumbled on that day.

But today, this day feels better than it has in the past.  I find the emptiness is being filled by my beautiful son and my wonderful husband.  And, also filling that space is cooking and writing this blog.  It's been nice to find myself remembering things my dad liked to cook or cooking something I know he would have loved.

So, thank you for reading the blog and for your feedback.  It's been cathartic and I don't think I expected that when I started writing back in May.  You've inspired me to keep writing this blog and in the process, it has helped heal a broken heart and reminded me to celebrate my dad's spirit and his beautiful life.

A peppermint bark consumer is born

I've never been one to hold back when it comes to spending money on food.  Whether it is spending on ingredients or prepared food, I look at it as an investment in my happiness.

For several years, I have been a happy consumer of a certain culinary goods store's peppermint bark candy.  I gladly shelled out over $25 a box for the confection.  Sometimes, I even did it more than once during the holiday season.  In 2008, when I was two months pregnant with my son, I decided the peppermint in the candy was soothing for my stomach as I battled occasional morning sickness.  Some people turn to saltines, I turned to chocolate.

But this year, I decided to say no more.  I was curious if I could reproduce the candy myself in the comfort of my own kitchen.

My advice: save your pennies and make this peppermint bark at home.  My homemade version was as good as the store bought and maybe better because I knew it was fresh and hadn't sat in a box for weeks.

First I bought quality white and semi-sweet chocolate and chopped it.

Once I had chopped the chocolate, I added heavy cream to the chopped chocolate.

Then, I melted the dark chocolate in my makeshift double boiler with heavy cream.

 I don't use a double boiler often so I can't justify purchasing the real deal and my homemade version does the job.  Here's how it looks, consisting of a glass bowl and a sauce pan with water:

Once the semi-sweet chocolate was melted, I poured it on a cookie sheet that I had lined with a silpat mat (you could use parchment paper in place of a silpat if you prefer).  Then, the cookie sheet went into the refrigerator to chill for 20-25 minutes.

While the semi-sweet chocolate was hardening, I started melting the white chocolate.  I should add that the key to melting the chocolate is to stir it almost continuously so that it gets smooth and doesn't scorch.

Burnt chocolate is nasty.  Trust me.

Once the white chocolate is melted, I removed the cookie sheet from the refrigerator and spread the layer of white chocolate on top of the semi-sweet chocolate.  From there, I sprinkled on the peppermint candies I had crushed.  I crushed the candies by putting them in a ziploc bag, wrapping the bag with a kitchen towel and then smacking the bag with a meat tenderizer.  It did the trick and I was left with crushed candies and frankly perfect peppermint dust.

From there, the cookie sheet went back in the refrigerator and hardened.  Once it was ready to go, I broke off pieces of the bark with a knife and put it in a cute gift box to use as a gift for a party we were going to attend.

Unfortunately, I totally forgot to take the bark to the party.  When we returned home, my son discovered the box where I had left it sitting.

He immediately investigated.

Those would be Davis' fingers in the box of peppermint bark.

Then he inspected.

Then he ate it and guess what?  He liked it.

Another peppermint bark consumer is born.

Homemade Peppermint Bark
(makes copius amounts of Bark and trust me, you cannot make too much)

Ingredients
20 ounces white chocolate, coarsely chopped
20 ounces semi-sweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
2 teaspoons peppermint extract
12 tablespoons heavy cream
30-40 peppermint candies, crushed

Details
Line two 9x12 baking sheets with silpat mats or parchment paper

Coarsely chop the semi-sweet chocolate and then the white chocolate.  Keep them seperate.

In a double boiler, add the heavy cream to the chopped chocolate.  Stir continuously while chocolate melts to keep it from scorching.  Once smooth, mix in peppermint extract and remove melted chocolate from double boiler and spread the chocolate on the prepared baking sheets using a spatula.  Chill in the refrigerator for 20 minutes.

While the semi-sweet chocolate layer is chilling, melt the white chocolate in the double boiler, stirring continuously until melted.

In a ziploc bag, place peppermint candies and wrap bag with a dish towel.  Using a meat tenderizer or other adequate tool, smash the candies until they are almost dust.  Set aside.

Once melted, set aside and once the semi-sweet chocolate is hardened, pour the white chocolate over the semi-sweet chocolate and smooth with a spatula.

Sprinkle with crushed peppermint candies.  Return baking sheets to the refrigerator to chill and harden.

Once hardened, use a knife to cut apart the peppermint bark.

Self-destruction by peanut butter?

I've become a peanut butter junkie in the past few years.  And like any good junkie, I make excuses for my addiction.

Such as:

It's good protein.

Just one spoonful can't hurt me.

But like the junkies I see on A&E's "Intervention," it rarely stops at "just one" or "just a little."

When I was single, I routinely came home after work and had a spoonful of peanut butter out of the jar while my dinner cooked.  One spoonful would turn into a peanut butter orgy parked in front of the TV watching reruns of "Law and Order" while a plate of chicken and vegetables congealed on the counter, pushed aside.

Thank goodness I met my husband and saved myself from self-destruction by peanut butter, right?

I've been making homemade granola quite a bit lately and noticed a recipe on the back of the canister for oatmeal cookies.  Yum.  Except they had raisins which didn't excite me.

What can make healthy oats naughty?

Peanut butter and two sticks of butter!

With my son down for his nap, I practically ran to the kitchen to start baking.  I mixed the dry ingredients (flour, oats, baking powder, coarse salt, baking soda) and then powered-up the mixer to whip together the butter, peanut butter, sugar and brown sugar.  Once those where combined and smooth, I added in eggs and vanilla.

Let me tell you, two sticks of butter, sugars and vanilla make quick-cooking oats much more exciting!

I added in the dry ingredients to the butter/sugar/egg mixture and mixed briefly until just combined.

And then, I couldn't help it.  I took a big spoonful of the dough and devoured it pushing aside thoughts of how salmonella could be lurking in the raw eggs that were in the dough I was shoveling in my mouth.

Now that's living on the edge, people.

The finished product is just as delightful as the raw dough.  The cookies are quite thin but become a little crisp around the edges and mushy in the middle.  I have no idea how they will taste tomorrow but these are a "live in the moment" cookie, I think.  (I will report back how they hold-up on Day 2.)

I fully realize I should be posting about holiday cookies and that will come very soon but today, I just needed my peanut butter fix.

It seems, this junkie's old habits are dying hard. Thank goodness.

Oatmeal Peanut Butter Cookies

Ingredients
3 cups old-fashioned rolled oats

• 1/3 cup flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon coarse salt
• 1 cup packed light-brown sugar
• 1 cup granulated sugar
• 2 sticks unsalted butter, softened
• 1/2 cup peanut butter
• 2 large eggs
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

Details

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a medium bowl, mix the oats, flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt.  Set aside.

In the bowl of a mixer, add butter, peanut butter, brown sugar and granulated sugar.  Mix until smooth.

Add eggs and vanilla to the butter mixture and mix until well combined.

Add dry oat mixture to the butter/egg mixture and mix until just combined.

Using a small cookie dough scoop, place dough on ungreased cookie sheet (I recommend using a silpat mat).

Bake for 13-15 minutes.

Recipe adapted from Martha Stewart Living

The aftermath

When I woke up the day after Thanksgiving, I came to a realization.

It felt strangely like the day after our wedding.  All the planning and effort that had gone into one big event had paid off, the guests had departed and left behind were two exhausted people since the adrenaline had stopped.  After our wedding, we waited until a week later to depart for our honeymoon and enjoyed having time to reflect on the big day and all the wonderful memories.  Now, over a week after Thanksgiving, we are still enjoying rehashing the memories of what was a great day.

We were joined by my family, my husband's mother and my dear friend, Crissie and her husband and two children.  Crissie and I went to college together and then were roommates in DC after college.  During our time as roomies, our families often came out to visit over Thanksgiving and we (well, our parents really) would cook a huge Thanksgiving dinner.  Those were the days when we didn't even have a proper utensil to use to serve pumpkin pie.  And, definitely the days before children.  Almost 10 years later, we sat together with our children playing happily and a meal that we had cooked by ourselves.

Crissie reading with our boys on Thanksgiving.
Photo courtesy of Crissie Traugott Photography.

Like the recapping of our wedding on our honeymoon (reviewing the food, who kissed whom, who drank too much and who was a maniac on the dance floor), one week after Thanksgiving, I am ready to recap the food!

Here you go:

The First Course: Salad
I highly recommend the salad as well with a lemon shallot vinaigrette, pomegranate seeds, apples and mandarin oranges with candies pecans.  Divine.  And, a perfect way to start a meal when you know the main course and dessert are going to be absurdly heavy.

As I was putting fork to mouth on my second round of dessert, I decided the salad was the best idea versus a soup or other heavy first course.

See my last post on Thanksgiving for the salad recipe.


The Main Event: The Turkey
The turkey was amazing.

Our guests words, not mine.

And thank goodness  because I did not want to be "the one" who everyone talks about every year on Thanksgiving as the person who served the disgusting turkey.  I was breathing a major sigh of relief after dinner.

This was the first turkey I had ever cooked and after successfully finding the neck in the turkey while rinsing it off and then having to go through the turkey's other end to get out the little bag of fun (giblets/gizzard I think), I thought I might never eat turkey again.

If you can't tell, I was the kid who didn't do well dissecting even a worm in high school.  I roasted the 17 pound turkey on 325 degrees for approximately 4 1/2 hours.  I ran out of time to brine the turkey but took a stick of butter still in the wrapper and rubbed it over the turkey before putting it in the oven.  I also sprinkled it with garlic powder.  Finally, I put some chicken stock in the bottom of the roasting pan to create a good base for the gravy.

I continued to rub the stick of butter on the turkey about every 45 minutes until it started to turn golden brown.  I also basted the turkey up until the last hour of cooking with the juices that accumulated in the bottom of the roasting pan.

The result?  Golden brown goodness.

Me with the first turkey cooked on my own.
Photo courtesy of Crissie Traugott Photography

This was so easy, I might just do it again!

Mashed Potato Thoughts
Go with heavy whipping cream versus skim or whole milk for the mashed potatoes.

Woweeeee!

Holidays are not the time to hold back on calories and fat.  Go big or go home!

Overwhelming Goodness: Pumpkin Bread Pudding with Caramel Sauce
I was nervous to make the pumpkin bread pudding with caramel sauce as it was not a 'traditional' pie dessert for Thanksgiving.

Sweet baby Jesus.  It was unreal.

If you make one dessert before now and the spring when it is no longer acceptable to cook with pumpkin (like wearing white after labor day, some of us still do it), MAKE THIS DESSERT.  The recipe is available in my last post on Thanksgiving.

Do Not Pass Up Chocolate on Thanksgiving
Crissie's mocha pie was out of this world and frankly, it was nice to have a dessert that didn't revolve around nuts or feature the traditional Thanksgiving dessert spices like nutmeg, ginger and cinnamon.  I adore chocolate 365 days a year and why pass it up on Thanksgiving?  I am going to try to get the recipe from Crissie to post.

I must admit that reading about all this food is now making me hungry again and I just ate dinner.  I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed the holiday on this end.