Will you still need me, will you still feed me

Dear Dad,

Today I was listening to the Beatles song, “When I’m 64” and thought of you, even though today you would have turned 65!

As you know being the Beatles fan that you were, the refrain to the song goes, “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m 64.”

And, even though you’re 65, I like to think I am still feeding you vicariously every day. You inspire my cooking and were the inspiration for me to begin this blog. Whether it is the apple crumble I made a few weeks ago (recipe is below if you want to make it for your friends up there or the Big Guy … if he could turn water into wine, who knows what he could do with this crumble), your orzo salad or trying something new like Indian Chicken. You are with my every time I enter the kitchen.

You’ve also made me realize the importance of including my son and your grandson, Davis, in the cooking process. He loves to be in the kitchen to see what is going on. He has now mangled my whisk which has become his beloved kitchen tool of choice. You would be so proud of the way he manhandled his tortellini last weekend.  Here's a picture of the aftermath:

As I have on your birthday since you passed away way too soon almost six years ago, I went out to lunch with Dan to celebrate what would have been your 65th year. I know, I know. I am sure you did think I was really just looking for an excuse to eat an insanely delicious, gluttonous lunch. That’s only partly true.

Today we celebrated your life by eating a few of your favorite things that you taught me to enjoy and toasting to you. I had a divine pizza with provolone cheese and homemade soppresata. You would have loved it. Salty and authentic perfection. I can still remember when you introduced me to soppresata for the first time at 9 years old at Glorioso’s, a small Italian grocery store in Milwaukee. I could hardly pronounce the word but oooooooooh did I love that piece of Italian goodness that the lady behind the deli counter sliced for me. I remember that you said to me, “See Little Flower, you try something new and you might like it. I would never lead you astray when it comes to food.” As usual, you were right.

And then, we finished with a homemade cannoli, one of your all-time favorites, for dessert today. No, we didn’t share one either. We each ordered our own because you always thought people shouldn’t have to share if they didn’t want to … they should order their own, no matter the cost and in your words, “ENJOY, DAMNIT because you only live once!”

And how true those words are.

You showed me how to live life to the fullest, particularly when it came to food -- both eating and consuming it.

To enjoy every meal like it was your last.

To worry about watching your weight another day but definitely not on the day when you had the chance to eat something amazing or try a new dish for the first time.

To understand how feeding people brings a group together.

As for the other part of the Beatles song (‘Will you still need me?’), the answer is Y-E-S.

Even at 31 years old, I need my dad. Thanks to your gentle nudging from above, I have found that the way to stay connected to you is through cooking. And it has brought me more comfort and enjoyment than you will ever know. Thank you for pointing me in the right direction and I will keep ‘feeding you’ from down here.

Xoxo
Little Flower (a.k.a. your daughter, Colleen)

Dad's Birthday Apple Crumbly
(Serves 6 to 8)

The remains of the Apple Crumbly

Filling
5 Granny Smith Apples, peeled, cored and cut into 1-inch pieces
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice

Crumble topping
1 stick unsalted butter
1 cup light brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/3 cup rolled oats or quick cooking oats

Details
*Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
*To make the filling, combine the apples, granulated sugar, lemon juice, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmet and kosher salt in a baking dish and mix well.
*To make the streusel topping, melt the butter.
*Remove the butter from heat and stir in the brown sugar and kosher salt.  Add the flour and oatmeal and stir until incorporated.
*Crumble the mixture over the apple filling.  Place the baking dish on a baking sheet and bake until the topping is golden brown and the filling is bubbling for 50 to 60 minutes.

**Weekend Gourmet's note: You can make the filling 6 to 8 hours in advance but do not crumble the topping over the filling until ready to bake.

Recipe courtesy of Bride & Groom Cookbook